Dude on TV: I've realised how little I do do around the house...
Jake: DOO-DOO.

Naomi: We don't even have bread? Soup kitchens are decked out better then us.

-Mum was trying to read the TV Guide-
Mother: "I can't read that... does that say Stretch Parents?"
Naomi: Strictest Parents.
Jake: Did you say streaking carrots?
N: I'm surrounded by invalids.

-is texting-
Jake: What are you texting, is it about me?!
Naomi: No.
J: ...why not?

Jake: -reading a brochure- CHANGED MY MIND, I want my horse's name to be Pensioner Discounts. Pensy for short.
Naomi: What about Penny for short?
J: No. Definitely Pensy.

Note: We're not getting a horse. We will never have a horse, as a matter of fact, I think my brother is a few horses short of a stable.

Jake: Out of all these names for a pony, which is the best? There's The Moon (or Moony), Kitty or Cheese.
Naomi: Kitty, definitely Kitty.
J: Or Allen's Variety Pack OR Crackers and Assorted Dips.
N: Crackers and Assorted Dips. Crackers for short.
J: No! Crackhead for short. Or Alle-
N: That's enough.

-all our drains were backed up-
Naomi: I CAN'T SHOWER AND I CAN'T FIND MY DEODORA- Oh found it!
-sprays deodorant EVERYWHERE-
N: I don't feel clean.